Current location:	United Kingdom, Rugeley (sorry I had to use that but wtf?!)
Current mood:	okay
Entry tags:	fanfiction, kurogane, multi-chapter, yuui

[FANFICTION] Fish and Chips: Chapter Twenty-nine
Title: Fish and Chips
Characters: Kurogane, Fai and Yuui
Genre: Angst/Slice-of-life
Notes: Will be posted to comms as soon as I figure out if I'm posting 'English...' along with it!
Rating: R ... yes, that's a clue xD
Summary: At seventeen Kurogane is falling for his friend’s twin brother, Yuui, but there are many problems the pair must overcome.
Disclaimer: If I hadn't been Clamp for this long, I really don't see why I would be now...



On the fourth day they traversed meandering footpaths and grew adamant to be together once more.


The sun on their backs and their lips, they talked a little, mostly determined to understand more about the other, cross the gap that time had created between them. One time and a few others, locking lips, touching skin, holding arms and bodies, reaching for hands. Yuui’s laugh echoed through the trees, ringing delightfully in Kurogane’s ears. He reached over and kissed him. Small; sharp.


A spring in their step, across burbling streams, chasing. Sometimes they found themselves much closer – noses brushing lightly before kissing romantically. They kissed lightly in humour, passionately under trees, enjoying the feel of skin beneath their fingers, never wanting for much more; happy simply in the pleasure of this small blessing. It was a miracle they were together at all.


Despite being 29 and 30, their innocence seemed to glow, shunted right back to the days where hand-holding or undoing a button was a hugely monumental event, like an explosion shaking the earth. And now they found themselves in the same position, rediscovering, touching and adoring lust within each other, brushing pin pricks of desire felt just beneath their skin. They would take this, enjoy it, savour it, slowly and appreciatively turning it over their tongues and taking one step at a time, feet moving together, as one.


They pressed into each other, not phased at all by the other’s close proximity, grateful as it allowed them the freedom to do as they felt together. Falling into a deep canyon, stretching to unfathomable reaches, there was no one here to stop them as they kissed, as they held each other, nothing to fear and nothing to wait for. Just them alone with their desires and the decision to either abandon or follow them. Now they had begun, there was no chance to turn back – they’d already started again.


In each other’s lips, in their bodies, they felt a warmth echoing the tranquil heat around their physical selves and a happiness neither of them had succeeded in finding before that day. They edged closer towards each other.


A couple again, they exchanged adoring, lavishing holds, deep and meaningful kisses that night. Nothing more, lacking the fast-paced instinct in their blood. Merely a sweetly held and loving intimacy, ignoring tension in preference to touching upon the other’s soul, clasping it fondly in their hands, cherishing their beautiful relationship.


They fell in love again - they could feel it trembling deep within themselves. And they were happy to appreciate this in simple peace.


***


On the fifth day they travelled a bit further up-stream and made love for the first time.


By then they’d begun to sense more about each other’s bodies – seeing them now deeper than before.


They were quieter, hushed, had less to say now that they’d taken each other in their arms and opened themselves to them. The silence began to physically harm and pierce them. When they closed the gap between them, bringing their lips together, they felt no longer satisfied with simplicity, feeling driven towards something greater and inexperienced as of yet. All of a sudden, they’d jumped a gap in time. Perhaps the day before had been their fresh start, returning them to where everything had begun to fall apart, and now they’d been thrown back into their adult bodies, requiring much more for their lust to be quenched.


However the movement was too sudden. It was difficult to adjust to and that day became much less appreciated and more awkward, holding themselves in, unsure whether they should allow themselves to become carried away or restrain their throbbing impulses. The day before the borders of their actions were previously visited grounds, easily plundered without fear or guilt. Now they realised their mistake in their haste, sensing another body near them without another for miles, unable to go back and not wanting to return again.


Every time they kissed they felt a sudden desperation to stop, unable to continue. It couldn’t go on like this. Their bodies would touch but the result would not be enough. It left a small emptiness behind.


They made small conversation, much quieter and more hesitant than before, perhaps made shy and awkward by the change in mood and pace, suddenly grinding to a halt. By the end of the day they both seemed exasperated, unsure how to tackle the situation – neither had felt this way for anyone before and possibly never again. They still held each other for a little while, trying to gauge the strength of emotions lying within them, if it held any purpose or meaning beyond mere desire. If their lust was founded in any way. They felt scared to express themselves in their own world, under daylight, too exposed. And if they were to take another step they would have to take it together, in utter certainty.


The melancholy wore off as the sun began to set.


Kurogane sat, leant forward, a book in his hand, although it was clear he’d not looked upon the words in a while now, too immersed in thought. Staring at him for some time before picking up the courage, Yuui walked over, sat next to him stiffly and placed one of his hands over Kurogane’s.


‘Have you ever felt the way you have the past few days?’ he asked him curiously, although with a glint of confusion in his eyes, upsetting him, twisting his mind until he didn’t know what to think or do anymore.


Staring him in the eyes, Kurogane responded simply. ‘No… have you?’


Yuui shook his head. ‘How does it compare?’


‘With what?’ Kurogane asked, understanding fully but avoiding the answer.


‘With any other relationship you’ve been in?’ Yuui asked, voice still wavering in uncertainty.


‘Weird,’ Kurogane replied before giving it another moment’s thought. ‘Like I don’t have much of a say in what I do. How does it feel to you?’


Yuui closed his eyes, smiled weakly, the corners of his mouth perking into an anxious smile. ‘Perfect.’


‘Perfect?’ Kurogane asked in slight disbelief, in fear, to clarify the answer, as if to give it a better grounding.


Yuui nodded, smiling towards him. ‘Perfect.’


They both stopped, stared for a moment, expressions blank, a realisation slowly dawning upon them that they were at their peak, more enamoured than they may ever be. And so there was nothing to fear.


It was an unspoken agreement.


Kurogane pulled Yuui in towards him, embracing him strongly, holding him in a deep kiss. It developed quickly. Their hands clutching each other, never to let go, mouths held fast together. They dropped fear and inhibition, hearing it shattering against the floor, Yuui’s legs slinking forward, moving past Kurogane’s body so he could feel everything about Yuui pressed against him. The pace quickened, Kurogane feeling him through shirts, a barrier. Their hands scoured their bodies, in search of that desired touch, fantasised, dreamed up over that day. The firm hold of muscles or the smooth shifting of limbs, supple and smooth like silk.


Passionate beyond understanding, Yuui’s palms came to rest against the top of Kurogane’s neck, skimming beautifully across and clasping him, fingers seeping into his dark, coarse hair and so it went until he slowly let go, feeling Kurogane’s own fingers teasing at the neck of his shirt. Lightly tickling his skin, brushing against it in an unidentified aura of precious delicacy, a beloved intimacy held deeply within. He took a deep breath. And Kurogane pulled him upwards.


Immersed now in air rather than flesh, he felt unnatural and cold, suddenly out of place. His heartbeats became unbearably close as Kurogane opened the door to his bedroom and led him through.


Taking his time, he stared towards the bed for a moment, breathing in the manner of the situation, feeling it impact in his chest. Never before had he slept with someone and meant it, felt they truly mattered to him.


Kurogane’s arms wrapped around him and he felt immediately encouraged, stroking his hands gently with his fingers, a disbelieving look in his eyes.


‘Do you want this?’ Kurogane asked, in slight doubt.


‘This is all I’ve ever wanted for years,’ Yuui said, voice trembling in emotion, the meaning to his words lying deep within him, finally escaped having died alongside Fai.


Gently, Kurogane took him, kissed him, held him, as if he were the only thing that had ever mattered. And Yuui responded softly, feeling every motion being procured from somewhere deep within his bones. Something delicate – a ship within a bottle, a single feather. That slight brushing of lips, fingering the hems of Kurogane’s shirt… every movement was small but held an infinite wealth of gratitude and emotion.


Fingers skimmed lightly over his neck, brushing the edges of his shirt tantalisingly, connecting briefly and adoringly, sensing his skin as beyond living matter. Yuui held his breath as his shirt was removed, lips pressed to his neck, setting him alight, slowly, wonderfully, feeling his insides burning and glowing.


Everything in slow motion, he remembers his fingers, trailing, digging into Kurogane’s bare chest, perfect in every muscle, as he was pulled inwards. His hands skimmed automatically to the top of Kurogane’s trousers.


Yuui pressed forward, piquant in nature, his skin tickling and pulsating on Kurogane’s tongue, sides caressed by loving hands, all the time soothed by a deeply rich sense of meaning between them. Two natural partners, balancing each other in perfect harmony.


Laid down on a bed already containing fragments of Kurogane’s past, soon part of his future. Above, a body, wonderful in its perfect structure, causing his breath to rupture, his eyes to wander, his hands to tremble and his lips to open as Kurogane presses into him. Never before feeling such a desperate urge to lose either his self of his control, desiring everything within his childhood sweetheart. For the first time, he reveals himself, allowing Kurogane to push into places, depths of his being that he feared to grace alone, pleasure rising within, responding to being touched, being held, being loved.


***


Moving through impulse and basic lust only, feeling himself swallowed by a tide emerging from nowhere, pulsating every nerve in his body, causing his heart to beat out of control, blood flowing wildly through his veins. He barely notices the impact of his actions as he works the top of Yuui’s trousers, ripping them off his body like a blemish, smearing, marring a beautiful portrait. He immediately falls into it, feeling the flesh he so desired beneath every pore. Roaming hands pushing down his legs, his mouth pressed to his neck, he can feel his every shaking breath. But feeling a disruption, he stops, feeling almost guilty, lifting his mouth from Yuui. Finally registering something important. A dark secret.


Yuui stares deeply into him. And smiles. He reaches forward, kissing his ear and delicately lifting his right hand, smooth and elongated fingers clasping it lightly and adoringly, placing it back down on his thigh and forcing his fingers down to run along the scars in his leg.


Warmly enveloped, pressing his fingers into a human recess of his own accord, Kurogane suddenly feels overwhelmed. Touching upon those scars, a deep horizontal bar cutting into the upper part of Yuui’s legs, he feels invited into a childhood, becoming immersed in a forgotten past. Pain and anguish seeping through like rain, he welcomed it warmly, allowing it to pierce him, absorbing Yuui’s being, merging it with his own, as if soothing it. Something he never understood before.


His hands move on. And Yuui’s body trembles slightly now, whether in pleasure, joy or difficulty in slowly giving away his own soul to another after so long alone, Kurogane isn’t sure. But he presses their lips together softly, as if saying without words that this was what needed to happen all those years ago. Sharing each other, Yuui wraps his arms around Kurogane with nothing separating them now, flames flickering and burning brightly, out of control under his skin. Lips burning, their flesh comes close together, dangerously, excitingly close to merging.


Kurogane falters again, pausing above Yuui, his fingers halted. And Yuui pushes away slightly only to move nearer to his chest, leaning forward to whisper into his ear, ‘This is the first time you’ve had sex with another man, isn’t it?’


Kurogane couldn’t respond. His voice was caught in his throat, merely allowing Yuui to shift about him, placing his body underneath him. ‘Don’t worry about hurting me,’ he says with a beautiful, gentle smile, clasping him, ‘this is something we both want.’


Everything within them was swept aside by waves, thundering and echoing, swallowing them whole and filling them with sensations. Desperate to lock themselves to the other’s body, to bind themselves to their soul. Sinking within, the surface a soft glimmer in the back of their eyes. They allowed themselves to be carried away, without resisting, to where they both wanted to be. Separated, dented, damaged and so tired they felt sick, empty without this other side to themselves complimenting their existence – two halves finally coming together to create one whole, complete and perfect in every way.


Making sounds, breathing becoming panting, moving in and around each other’s bodies to become who they want to be, they create their own world inside another.


***


It was all Yuui could have asked for – to finally be loved.


To be held and not feel dirty inside, to be kissed and know that it is a loving connection between two souls, destined to be together. To sleep with another and feel passion burning his mind and senses, ecstasy pulsing at his fingertips, to feel beautiful within. To be in love.


***


This desire, this desperate throb inside, holding his mind in suspension, was entirely new to Kurogane, as was this body. Achingly beautiful, his playful lips and sleek, lithe limbs both supple and strong. Kurogane had underestimated the power within Yuui’s upper body, honed through those years spent swimming. It was unusual to him but that was alright. It made a refreshing change.


And he began to appreciate the mistake he’d made in leaving Yuui, grateful to have experienced his body not as a child, spoilt, underdeveloped and unappreciative, but as an adult, his body, his mind and his sexual appetite having matured. Not only this. He felt certain that the wait, the twelve bitter and wasted years apart, made that inevitable, wonderful moment taste all the more sweeter and satisfying, a sense of true happiness in discovering this romance. Lifting the dusty sheets, uncovering a gleaming object, rekindling the love that had always lain locked within him somewhere beneath his skin.


***


Holding each other close, a golden glow within. Yuui shifts slightly, gasping softly, pressing himself into the window between Kurogane’s heavily-set shoulder and his neck, thick and tense, supportive. His fingers stroke the skin beneath, teasing delicately, sparking nerves, setting a line alight. Kurogane smirked and pressed his lips to the back of Yuui’s shoulder endearingly. Yuui responded with a smile, an expression of contentment set upon his lips and beautifully crafted dreams in his eyes, a feeling of giddiness and relief as he felt his fingers touched upon them.


‘When did you get it?’ Kurogane asked interestedly, holding him, stroking his shoulder curiously, intimately.


Mind only half functioning, Yuui twisted himself to glance at his shoulder and then shot a smile towards Kurogane, smirking both sensually and knowingly. ‘When I was young and stupid,’ he said, voice dripping in fulfilment, feeling Kurogane’s fingers following the lines of the new age tattoo on the back of his shoulder. Draping his arms around him and holding his lips at the top of his neck, he reaches in to kiss him softly, a warm bubble of happiness and satisfaction rising within him, gratitude and love quickly following.


‘And drunk?’ Kurogane asked closely, feeling his hair against his cheek, smiling down at him.


‘Maybe,’ Yuui sighed dreamily, smiling warmly and pulling himself much closer in to Kurogane as if trying to speak to him using only their shared bodies and their newly connected emotions. That was then and this is now.


He watched curiously as Kurogane’s hands wandered down to his thighs, tracing the deep cuts within them. He drew their lips together tightly, using the fusion, the unexplainable bridge between them, like a pathway. With every minute, he grew so close to Kurogane their souls would touch, skimming and colliding, sending them both into the reaches of ecstasy, desiring the other, reaching out their arms to carry their pain and burden and pasts and emotions in shared bodies.


Close to tears in his relief, Yuui watched, a trembling passion tied within the walls of his chest, as Kurogane pushed on, clasping him, touching a shuddering body. Kissing deeply once more, eaten whole by desire, following it along whichever path it chose to carry them down.


***


‘Kurogane,’ Yuui laughed, ‘you’re going to wear me out!’


Kurogane smiled down to him, a beautiful image of perfection, gleaming iridescently. He’d never appeared so whole, so assured or complete before, understanding and accepting everything within himself, holding back nothing in fear or contempt. Even so, his smile slipped. And he reached forward to kiss Kurogane gently, whispering to him, ‘Goodnight.’


Yuui nearly fell back, feeling Kurogane sharply tugging at his arm as he climbed out of bed.


‘Where the hell do you think you’re going?’ Kurogane snapped, staring towards him angrily, frustration and anxiety held in an underlying message in his tone.


Yuui blinked. ‘To bed?’


‘Sleep here,’ he was instructed more than offered.


Yuui smiled gratefully, a lovely twist lying in his lips, immediately falling into Kurogane’s arms, becoming enveloped, breathing in the scent of his skin once more.


‘You’ve never slept beside anyone before?’ Kurogane asked, slightly confused, disbelieving.


‘Never wanted to,’ Yuui muttered into him, lips moving softly close to his toned flesh.


They lay like that for a few minutes, peacefully held together, hearts overflowing and breath shifting gently, frightened to exhale too heavily, just in case the moment blew away, fluttering out from their arms into the sky, beyond reach. Eventually, Kurogane pulled him in, held him tightly, his arms wrapped around his back and his mouth by his ear. He admitted, ‘I didn’t bring you here out of convenience or generosity. I needed to know if I wanted to start my life again with you. I couldn’t do that before.’


Yuui seized up, lying there against him, in shock, eyes opening widely. Finally, he breathed pleadingly into Kurogane, ‘Is it a yes?’


Kurogane pulled them apart to stare into his eyes, gazing neither in pity nor sympathy, not cold or warm, disappointed or delighted. ‘I want to spend a little longer here,’ he said. Not a yes. Not a no.


And yet Yuui felt an exciting and warm sensation of hope seeping inside of him, smiling towards Kurogane, lying against him once more, wrapped in strong and unshakable arms, lost to the world.


They fell asleep like that, immersed in each other, feeling blessed and holding true happiness against them, within them, bringing it lightly towards their skin to feel its presence, like a candle glowing, flickering, carrying warmth and tranquillity to their bodies. Never allowing it to slip from their fingers through the night, a thing so long searched for, to be lost in vain - a tragedy.


But they awoke to a dazzling sunlight, another, the same being pressed to them, knowing now who they were. Finally fulfilled.


***

a/n: I'm really anxious about this one because it's essentially one big, long semi-sex-scene I've tried to cram some depth into. Please tell me if I succeeded in achieving something because it'd make my day lol

So as you'll have seen from the cut, the next chapter will be the last. Wow, so strange to think, I've been posting this here since February, on ff.net since December and writing it since November. It's funny to think it's all drawing to a close... Anyways I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it so far and will be satisfied with the last chapter as well =) Also when I post the last chapter I should be starting a new (shorter) multi-chapter series that so far doesn't have a title. It'll get there...

There was a joke paragraph in this chapter in case you thought one part sounded a little bit off. I got a box of chocolates for Christmas and couldn't resist a piss-take of the description of the chilli and orange chocolate.

Original: Two natural partners to chocolate, balancing each other in perfect harmony. While the piquant chilli tickles the front of your tongue, the ripe orange notes caress the sides, all the time soothed by the rich well-balanced dark chocolate.

This Chapter: Yuui pressed forward, piquant in nature, his skin tickling and pulsating on Kurogane’s tongue, sides caressed by loving hands, all the time soothed by a deeply rich sense of meaning between them. Two natural partners, balancing each other in perfect harmony.

Oh and sorry but I really need to point out something about the new location detect feature. It located me in Rugeley... I had absolutely no idea where the hell that was lol When I looked it up it came up as Staffordshire. Looks near-ish to Birmingham on google maps? ... I'm in Scotland, that's MILES away xD Like well over half a country away. It'd probably take an entire day to drive there!